Nobody is perfect. I am Nobody. Therefore I am perfect.

It's only funny until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious.

When all is said and done more is said than done.

A coward dies a thousand deaths, a soldier just dies the once

Every year more than 2500 left handed people are killed from using right handed products.

Never apologize for saying what you feel. It's like apologizing for being real.

Isn't it scary to know what doctors do for a living is called "practice"?

The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.

My mother told me never talk to strangers. That's why I never talk to myself anymore.

I knew that something was wrong when my imaginary friends would not play with me.

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other, and when I am alone I am together.

"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted."

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

A wise monkey never monkies with another monkey's monkey

All generalizations are false

Always tell the truth, even when you lie

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one

Be The Change You Wish To See